Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I didn't shave. On purpose
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
