You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
