He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
