they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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