I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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