I am puke
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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