I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize