I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
