Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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