I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize