accomplished twins. life is a go
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
