So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I want her autograph on my taint
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
