We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's just like the Real World with babies
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
