I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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