just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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