He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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