worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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