1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just high enough for therapy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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