just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
