thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
