she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
