Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
