If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
