i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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