The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
