apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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