so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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