She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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