Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

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(304): View more from West Virginia

please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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(815): View more from Illinois

its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young

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(734): View more from Michigan

I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.

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(229): View more from Georgia

I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea

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(203): View more from Connecticut

its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin

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(807): View more from Ontario

If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right

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(406): View more from Montana

Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM

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