this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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