i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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