We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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