So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
