btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize