can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
