Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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