Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
