It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
