god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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