my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Church boner. Awkwardddd
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
