youre lurking in front of me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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