obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
