we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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