Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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