I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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