if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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