You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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