My first STD was from a foam party
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
