It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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