yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
