Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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