there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
