Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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