i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
