It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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